The chaos of the past couple of weeks has been absolutely overwhelming. So many people stepped up and helped me out with ridding my apartment of things I no longer needed,or taking me out for much needed breaks to see the opening of the Lions Festival of Lights, followed by Zoolights the next weekend, and a Chanukka potluck celebration as the final hurrah!
The friends we made will forever live in our hearts, leaving was very difficult and I feel like there were so many plans that had been put on hold until Rori was 'old enough' to participate. Hopefully we will make it out again for a visit and to make it back out to the Enchanted Forest or white water rafting (she's old enough next summer!) and hiking in real mountains instead of walking up the big hills here will be a must!
My crazy baby brother drove straight from Ontario to Calgary to pick me up. Thankfully he had to stay two nights to both recoup and to help me out with deliveries and picking up the uhaul (nightmare = faulty wiring then leaky trailer, but we made it!). The extra help last minute from building friends was also very much appreciated!
The drive was LONG but we made good time (even after I made him stop a few times - freezing rain most of the way, thick fog, and extremely windy in northern Ontario made for a couple of adventures... like spinning out in the prairies!). Thankfully no damage and we made it in one piece - he is the best judge of where it's okay to park backwards in the grassy median! My tummy was not happy with the constant swaying sensations, but a few extra gravol made things more bearable and we made it to Hamilton in time to unload and return the trailer before surprising Rori at school :)
Monday, 21 December 2015
Saturday, 12 December 2015
DONE!!!!
It has been a VERY long 3.5 months. But I am FINALLY through and finished with the first rounds of surgeries & treatments!!! Counting down the days now until I am back with my girl... A real hug is so much better than a chat on the phone!
With the final treatments yesterday, I was also shown the MRI pics for the first time (by the surgeon who also gave me his email to keep him updated with my progress!). I thought he was joking at first when I asked him to define "successfully removing a large mass", which is all anyone had told me previously, and he held out his fist. Then he pulled up the pics. Apparently it wasn't so much a 'brain bug' as it was a brain rat! He told me that it was larger than the frontal lobe which was moved around by the growing mass. This final conversation gave me both the answers and perspective I was looking for. It explains why they were so surprised at how quickly and completely I recovered from the surgeries (no physical/mental deficits anyway!) and why they would not let me leave without a 'person' being available 24/7.
The large white spot is the tumour pre-surgery...
It certainly explains the headaches and dizziness I had been experiencing all year - though Dr Kelly also told me they have no way of finding out how long it had been there. Apparently this was his reason for giving me the worst case scenario's of not being able to speak or use my right side after surgery! Forever grateful that I did not have to go through months of therapy to return to 'normal'... Recognized a couple of the patients who were still in the hospital from when I was there back in October - very sad, I couldn't have handled that!
Now it's time to finish getting rid of my things, packing up what I'm keeping, and get back to my babe so I can figure out a brand new (to me!) city and routines! Thankful that my sister lives in the same city as Ontario's equivalent to the TBCC here in Calgary - makes organizing the switch and follow ups much easier for everyone!
Happy Holidays to everyone, thank you all again for the love & support - near and far I'm sure that the prayers and good vibes have helped me through this journey!
With the final treatments yesterday, I was also shown the MRI pics for the first time (by the surgeon who also gave me his email to keep him updated with my progress!). I thought he was joking at first when I asked him to define "successfully removing a large mass", which is all anyone had told me previously, and he held out his fist. Then he pulled up the pics. Apparently it wasn't so much a 'brain bug' as it was a brain rat! He told me that it was larger than the frontal lobe which was moved around by the growing mass. This final conversation gave me both the answers and perspective I was looking for. It explains why they were so surprised at how quickly and completely I recovered from the surgeries (no physical/mental deficits anyway!) and why they would not let me leave without a 'person' being available 24/7.
The large white spot is the tumour pre-surgery...It certainly explains the headaches and dizziness I had been experiencing all year - though Dr Kelly also told me they have no way of finding out how long it had been there. Apparently this was his reason for giving me the worst case scenario's of not being able to speak or use my right side after surgery! Forever grateful that I did not have to go through months of therapy to return to 'normal'... Recognized a couple of the patients who were still in the hospital from when I was there back in October - very sad, I couldn't have handled that!
Now it's time to finish getting rid of my things, packing up what I'm keeping, and get back to my babe so I can figure out a brand new (to me!) city and routines! Thankful that my sister lives in the same city as Ontario's equivalent to the TBCC here in Calgary - makes organizing the switch and follow ups much easier for everyone!
Happy Holidays to everyone, thank you all again for the love & support - near and far I'm sure that the prayers and good vibes have helped me through this journey!
Saturday, 5 December 2015
One week to go!
I'm still amazed at how timing has been working out so smoothly for everything that I am dealing with. Sure I'll still have to sort out finances and how to finish my degree (maybe - depends on follow-up results that I won't have for another couple of months!) once the holidays are over... But until then, life is actually going pretty smoothly. 90% ready to move - car has been picked up (YEAH!!!!) since I have no idea when/if I will be allowed to drive again :( More to find out through the follow-ups!
Another great evening out with friends last eve - thankful that I have so many who are willing to drive me about as requested and who are so amusing - makes it much easier to stay positive (even when dealing with side-effects like "pooffy-steroid-face syndrome" and "gaseous-chemo-effect")... but those are minor compared to what so many people at TBCC are going through, so I won't complain too much (I hope!).
Now, I just need to stop having panic attacks over how much there is to do this week (not much really - most has to wait until after the charity does it's p/u Thursday anyway!)... Good thing for distractions! And for actually getting sleep last night - almost 7 hours!!!! Once I wake up enough, I may even feel human-esque again!
Hugs and love to all the people in my little world who have been so supportive <3 <3
Another great evening out with friends last eve - thankful that I have so many who are willing to drive me about as requested and who are so amusing - makes it much easier to stay positive (even when dealing with side-effects like "pooffy-steroid-face syndrome" and "gaseous-chemo-effect")... but those are minor compared to what so many people at TBCC are going through, so I won't complain too much (I hope!).
Now, I just need to stop having panic attacks over how much there is to do this week (not much really - most has to wait until after the charity does it's p/u Thursday anyway!)... Good thing for distractions! And for actually getting sleep last night - almost 7 hours!!!! Once I wake up enough, I may even feel human-esque again!
Hugs and love to all the people in my little world who have been so supportive <3 <3
Friday, 27 November 2015
Three Months Ago Today...
...My life was changed forever. The day before had been my last at work out in Morley as I had an MRI apt early in the morning (Aug 27) and needed the long weekend to prepare both Rori and myself to begin school Sept 1st. Amazing how quickly plans change!
Three months feels like a LONG time when you are away from your child, my heart, but I am so grateful that my family (especially J!) have been so supportive and accommodating through this process. Things are working out amazingly well - I leave Calgary in 2.5 weeks, after final radiation treatment on Dec 11th, and my baby brother is coming out to haul a trailer (plus me!) back to Hamilton. My referral for follow ups in Hamilton are in process, I have spoken with their Juravinski Cancer Center to confirm move dates and they will schedule ASAP around the holidays. Things are looking positive!
If anyone needs random kitchen/cleaning items let me know ;) Trying to give away most of my things as they will not be needed, or have been given to me, etc. Luckily there are some families in my building who are collecting furniture as I empty shelves etc, but no one seems interested in more dishes or plastic storage containers (which apparently I have WAY too many of! LOL). Hoarding and over-buying are NOT conducive to easy moves!
Anyway, it has only been three months but it feels like a lifetime. And my roller-coaster is really just beginning! Almost time to go start a new life in a strange place...
Three months feels like a LONG time when you are away from your child, my heart, but I am so grateful that my family (especially J!) have been so supportive and accommodating through this process. Things are working out amazingly well - I leave Calgary in 2.5 weeks, after final radiation treatment on Dec 11th, and my baby brother is coming out to haul a trailer (plus me!) back to Hamilton. My referral for follow ups in Hamilton are in process, I have spoken with their Juravinski Cancer Center to confirm move dates and they will schedule ASAP around the holidays. Things are looking positive!
If anyone needs random kitchen/cleaning items let me know ;) Trying to give away most of my things as they will not be needed, or have been given to me, etc. Luckily there are some families in my building who are collecting furniture as I empty shelves etc, but no one seems interested in more dishes or plastic storage containers (which apparently I have WAY too many of! LOL). Hoarding and over-buying are NOT conducive to easy moves!
Anyway, it has only been three months but it feels like a lifetime. And my roller-coaster is really just beginning! Almost time to go start a new life in a strange place...
Thursday, 19 November 2015
Sad tummy day :(
Mostly just posting this for my own tracking... I really haven't had any issues with my stomach (other than no desire for food the few hours after radiation) since I came home from the second surgery. Today I woke up, started my coffee, made my smoothie, took a sip, and was DONE. Not exactly nausea, no vomiting, but more like it was sitting in my throat and refused to go down. Oh well. As I joked with the radiation tech & nurse - I could def stand to lose 20-30lbs so am not that concerned about not having any appetite for a day! They agreed, but put notes in to follow up with Dr at next weekly apt (Tues) and recommended that I take more anti-nauseants over the weekend and try to eat something even when I really don't feel like it. Soups are coming out of the freezer!
Thanks again to all the cooks for knowing ahead of time what would be eventually needed :-)
Thanks again to all the cooks for knowing ahead of time what would be eventually needed :-)
Tuesday, 17 November 2015
Tired but making progress!
Everything seems to pile up at times. I am tired all the time (haven't slept at all since a 2 hr nap last Saturday - even with sleeping pills)... but I feel bad complaining about little things like that when so many other things are working out much more easily than I had expected.
The chemo pills are not making me feel ill (yet - have been told it takes about 2 weeks to feel the full effects) even though my hair is falling out A LOT more now that I am on those as well as the radiation. I also ran into the lovely ladies who had offered to take me out to support groups during treatment while at the TBCC yesterday. We had a little chat about treatments, side-effects, and lack of energy to do anything! They are so sweet, and so understanding about why I am not into joining groups here - Hamilton has the same types of programs through their cancer centre and I think that those will be a good way for me to meet people once there.
My furniture is slowly but steadily trickling out the door, giving me space to pack and clean around what is left. Some of my neighbours are also in no rush for things like my desk & dresser, so I appreciate that they are near to come and take those last minute rather than try to get it all out for donation a few days before I move (a matching bedroom suit was donated to my sister in Ont for me, what comes around goes around!). The silly things that make life easier!
Now, I just need to take advantage of this last warm day before winter hits to clean up my car more (shop didn't do a great job... can't blame them - kid cars suck!) and take some pics so I can try to sell this thing ASAP! Notice for my apartment has been given, slowly checking things off my to-do list...
I feel guilty focusing on myself so much. Especially with all the hate and terror going on in the world. It makes my heart hurt to see people responding so strongly to the Paris attacks when similar numbers of innocents are killed daily throughout the Middle East and Africa. Not having cable seems to restrict my information, though I am not sure if mainstream news ever paid attention or mentioned the attacks that happened in the days before Paris. From my perspective, it seems to be that people respond much faster and more wholeheartedly to the familiar - attacks on Western society appear to hit much closer to home than the daily suffering of would-be immigrants & refugees. I hope that Trudeau and others do not stop their plans to help those in most need.
The chemo pills are not making me feel ill (yet - have been told it takes about 2 weeks to feel the full effects) even though my hair is falling out A LOT more now that I am on those as well as the radiation. I also ran into the lovely ladies who had offered to take me out to support groups during treatment while at the TBCC yesterday. We had a little chat about treatments, side-effects, and lack of energy to do anything! They are so sweet, and so understanding about why I am not into joining groups here - Hamilton has the same types of programs through their cancer centre and I think that those will be a good way for me to meet people once there.
My furniture is slowly but steadily trickling out the door, giving me space to pack and clean around what is left. Some of my neighbours are also in no rush for things like my desk & dresser, so I appreciate that they are near to come and take those last minute rather than try to get it all out for donation a few days before I move (a matching bedroom suit was donated to my sister in Ont for me, what comes around goes around!). The silly things that make life easier!
Now, I just need to take advantage of this last warm day before winter hits to clean up my car more (shop didn't do a great job... can't blame them - kid cars suck!) and take some pics so I can try to sell this thing ASAP! Notice for my apartment has been given, slowly checking things off my to-do list...
I feel guilty focusing on myself so much. Especially with all the hate and terror going on in the world. It makes my heart hurt to see people responding so strongly to the Paris attacks when similar numbers of innocents are killed daily throughout the Middle East and Africa. Not having cable seems to restrict my information, though I am not sure if mainstream news ever paid attention or mentioned the attacks that happened in the days before Paris. From my perspective, it seems to be that people respond much faster and more wholeheartedly to the familiar - attacks on Western society appear to hit much closer to home than the daily suffering of would-be immigrants & refugees. I hope that Trudeau and others do not stop their plans to help those in most need.
Sunday, 15 November 2015
Random compliments :)
I got up this morning (after having not slept at all again last night) and decided that I had to make the best of my no-energy, no-sleep day. Within a couple of hours the steroids had kicked in and I was bouncing again :)
Day 3 of my pill-form chemo and other than a lot more hair falling out I am still feeling fairly well (no radiation on weekends helps!). I decided that I had the energy to head over to Shoppers for a couple of the supplements that I know would run out this week. At Shoppers, a lovely lady waiting at the pharmacy called out to me. She apologized for 'being rude', then complimented me on my confidence in going out with my scar and lack of hair showing so obviously. My response was 'thanks, it's only hair after all!'. She then told me a story about how one of her friends had been so vain and attached to her hair that she refused to let the dr's operate if her hair would be ruined, and ended up dying from lack of treatment.
Thanks to everyone who has complimented my short hair-style. I have never been particularly attached to my hair, but the support and compliments (even from strangers!) has certainly given me the confidence to be out in public without needing to hide or cover my head!
Day 3 of my pill-form chemo and other than a lot more hair falling out I am still feeling fairly well (no radiation on weekends helps!). I decided that I had the energy to head over to Shoppers for a couple of the supplements that I know would run out this week. At Shoppers, a lovely lady waiting at the pharmacy called out to me. She apologized for 'being rude', then complimented me on my confidence in going out with my scar and lack of hair showing so obviously. My response was 'thanks, it's only hair after all!'. She then told me a story about how one of her friends had been so vain and attached to her hair that she refused to let the dr's operate if her hair would be ruined, and ended up dying from lack of treatment.
Thanks to everyone who has complimented my short hair-style. I have never been particularly attached to my hair, but the support and compliments (even from strangers!) has certainly given me the confidence to be out in public without needing to hide or cover my head!
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