Love to all.
Cant't help but feel guilty for not being there for all those whom have begun to share their stories of grief and loss and illness - I wish I could have been a better support, I think regrets are overwhelming some days.
The first time I heard 'cancer' was this past Friday, September 11. Officially the surgeon and team (with great steady hands!) removed an Astrocytoma from the left frontal lobe of my brain. I am eternally grateful for no slips! Pathology is being reviewed to determine grade - at first, I was terrified because the lady from Tom Baker indicated that it was grade 3 or 4. Now they are deciding between 2 & 3 to help determine future treatment.
I tire very easily right now. My memory is good, like I said - no slips, just a lot of weakness in my right side, but getting better with amazing care from my sister Lisa. She has been great - and today is her birthday ;)
I remember the frustration I felt waking in the Recovery Unit and not being able to say 'September'... Overhearing the nurses arguing and trying to get me to tell them the month and not being able to explain that this was expected was beyond frustrating - thankfully someone FINALLY, I have no idea on how long it was, explained that to the RU nurses and they stopped trying to force a whole word. Those came later :-)
The repetitiveness, vomiting, and nausea wore me down a lot. Panic attacks hit over the weekend, but by Sunday I was ready to come home!
Not allowed to drive for awhile, and my personal nanny has a seizure disorder which has prevented her ever getting a license, but we are well and as I have mentioned to a few people, I am a survivor and this changes nothing in that regard!
Rori is being well loved and cared for in Ontario for the term, thank-you so much Auntie Jessica! My goal is to have her come home over the winter break. This WILL happen :-)
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